Mistake
by caskettshipper3
Summary: Richard Castle makes the biggest mistake of his life: giving his child up for adoption. But by the time he realizes his mistake, it's too late. Will he be able to be a part of her life? Or will her new momma bear shut him out completely? Promise it's better than it sounds.
1. Chapter 1

_**So, for the purposes of this story, Rick and Kate are the same age, Kate's already a detective and her dad is sober. Also, I'm not well versed in adoption procedures, so if you see something out of place our incorrect, it was probably from lack of knowledge XD**_

 _ **Rick may seem a bit OOC in this first chap. but let's just assume he was in a really bad place.**_

 _ **Alright then :)**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

* * *

Rick stared down at the papers as his lawyer adressed he and Meredith.

"Well everything's in order. When your child is born, he or she will be taken into custody by a government official and they will be put into the system for adoption." More tears run down Rick's face. They just won't seem to stop. Even Meredith looks a little somber. But of course, who wouldn't be upset about giving their child away?

When Meredith found out that she was pregnant, Rick had remained positive that they could do it, even though they were young. As time went on, however, they began to see the impossibilities. Meredith couldn't book _any_ acting jobs and Rick continuously got shot down by publisher after publisher. They lost the small apartment they shared and had to move in with Martha and more and more, Rick became less optimistic. After 6 months of downhill sailing, they both decided that their child deserved the best and the best was not two 20 somethings with hardly a place to live.

All Rick could think about was his own childhood. Of course it was filled with love, but it was also filled with poverty and he couldn't shake the feeling of failing this child, another generation forced to struggle. It gave him nightmares to think about.

"So..." Meredith begins to speak up, "will we ever be able to see our child?"

"Yes, but considering you both want this to be a closed adoption, contact may only be made if your child initiates it." Rick nods, feeling quite hopeful. If their child has the sense of curiosity that he has, they'll get to meet very soon in life.

"What about the parents? Will we be able to see who he or she is placed with?" God forbid he or she be placed in an abusive home.

"We can't release that kind of information to you, but we can assure that they'll be placed in an excellent home. Our adoption process is **very** thorough."

Rick nods understandingly and sighs. "So... That's it?"

"That's it. You've signed all your other papers in our last meetings so... Yeah." The man gives them a slightly sympathetic smile as Meredith thanks him for his time and heads toward the door. As Rick is walking out, the man grabs his arm and whispers, "you know, the paperwork isn't finalized until the child is born and taken into custody. You still have a bit to think about this. Wouldn't want any second thoughts." Rick nods curtly to the man and continues out the door.

He will always have second thoughts.

Kate sits uncomfortably in the stiff chairs at the adoption agency. After two years, you'd think she'd be used to it.

After her mother had died, Kate went into a deep depression. She gave up her whole life for her mother's case, gave up on her dreams and allowed herself to be consumed. After numerous arguments with her now sober dad, Kate had given up the case and began therapy. During her sessions, she realized that the thing she loved most about her mom was the fact that she was such an incredible mother, even to children who weren't her own.

That's when she decided to adopt a child. She thought that if she could be half as good of a mom as her mother was, she could honor her mom's life in that way.

Ever since that day, Kate has been going through the long process of becoming an adoptive mother. She never estimated it being so tough, but when Kate Beckett started something, she saw it through.

"Hello again, Kate." Alice, Kate's social worker, greeted her warmly as she summoned Kate to her office.

"Hello to you, Alice." Kate sat down in the chair in front if the other women's desk. "How's Mark and the kids?" Kate had been there so many times, she and Alice were practically best friends.

"They're excellent. Still as rambunctious as ever." Alice smiled and powered up her computer, immediately opening Kate's file. "Well Kate, as you know, three months ago, you were approved for adoption. We have been having trouble finding children for you though. You've expressed your want for an infant or toddler, but that is the most commonly requested age range for adoption. Also, our primary focus is trying to put children in stable, two parent homes. Your name is rather high up on our list, but I don't believe we've recieved any new- oh."

"What? What is it?"

"Well it seems we've recently taken an infant into our custody. Just born a week ago, girl, red hair, blue eyes, completely healthy." Alice turns the screen towards Kate and her heart stops when she sees her. "Now, I can put down that you'd be interested in getting her, but" she sighs and leans forward "I can't say that there won't be other, more established couples who will want her too."

"Alice, you know me. You know how long I've wanted this and you know how much I've given up for this. Every other child that you brought up to me has been taken by some other couple. Please, I need her."

"Kate..."

"Look, aren't you the one who signs all recommendations for adoptions?" Alice nods. "I want you to look at all other families that site interest in her and if you can honestly say that any of them will give her more love, support, attention, or security than I can, I'll give up." Slice fidgets in her chair for a bit and then sits back.

"Alright, I suppose I can dig a little deeper with this one." Kate squeaks excitedly. "BUT! I make no promises Kate. You're my friend, but at the end of the day, I have to do what's right for the child."

Kate nods. "Absolutely." Alice smiles at her once again and prints off an application for the adoption. Kate once again stares at the screen, at the tiny, squinting face in the picture.

Tears run down her face as she falls in love with this beautiful little girl. She honestly never imagined this moment being so beautiful.

That's gonna be her daughter.

* * *

 _ **Cool dudes leave reviews :***_

 _ **Please don't hate this.**_

 _ **Love Always, XOXOX**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**So, I fixed a few mistakes in the previous chapter. I hope you guys still like it though.**_

 _ **Enjoy.**_

* * *

Kate pushed the door open, while carefully balancing the infant in her arms.

After 7 months of groveling, home invasion, and intrusive background checks, Kate was finally allowed to bring Alexis home. They had just arrived back from court and Kate was ecstatic that this beautiful girl was finally hers! She'd almost lost her a couple of times. There was some skepticism about her career and family history and another couple stepped forward, ready to sweep Alexis away, but she'd been able to save herself and convince everyone that she wanted and deserved to be a mother. To be Alexis' mother. She decided to leave Alexis' first name the same, but changed her middle and last names.

Alexis Johanna Beckett.

It's a bit cliche, but she figured it was honorable. Besides, she had to change the child's given middle name. I mean, cmon. Harper? Really? But all other things aside, Kate was just happy she got to this point.

Kate looked into Alexis' big, blue eyes. "Hey there, sweet girl." Alexis blew spit bubbles as Kate spoke to her. "You don't know this, but today, I became your mommy!" The girl grabs a lock of her hair and twirls it, oblivious to her mother's words. "Now, this is officially your home, our home, and no one can can ever take you away from me. I'll never let it happen." The girl just rubbed her eyes, her tell that she was tired.

Kate took it in stride. "I know it's been a long, tiring journey baby girl, but we're finally home." She bright the girl to her room and lasted her in the crib she'd already purchased. She thought about changing her into one of the many new pajama sets she had, but decided against it, letting her sleep. Kate stood at the edge of the crib for hours, watching her sleep. She didn't notice the time flying until her phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Katie! Where are you? I've been expecting you and my new grandchild for half an hour now." She quickly checked her watch to see that he was right. She'd been standing, watching her daughter sleep, for two hours.

"Sorry dad. Just lost track of time. We'll be there soon."

"Ah, children will do that to you. First day you came home from the hospital, your mother wouldn't even put you down." She shook her head fondly and smiled at the story.

"See you in a few dad."

"Oh don't bother Katie, I'm already headed up to your apartment." He hung up immediately, leaving Kate shocked. She placed her phone down and went to open the door, glad she did when she saw her father with a dozen bags on each arm.

"Dad? What is all this stuff?" She asked him while reaching out to relieve him of some of them.

"Presents for my granddaughter! 'welcome to the family' presents." With their combined effort, they managed to get all the bags inside.

"Dad, this is too much-"

"Katie, honestly, it was no hassle. Besides fitting all of this into my trunk, it was fun! I forgot how nice it could be shopping for a child. Speaking of which, where is she?" Kate walked her father back into Alexis' room.

"Dad, meet Alexis Johanna Beckett." He met her eyes in shock and she simply nodded. He smiled at her and then looked at the sleeping child.

His eyes welled. "Oh Jo, she's beautiful. You would've loved her." Kate allowed tears to skip down her cheeks, sad and happy, before leaning into her father. As they stood watching her, the girl opened her eyes. "Oh my, what beautiful blues you have!"

"Yeah, they seem to get bluer and bluer everyday." Kate smiled and picked her daughter up. "Alexis, say hi to grandpa Jim." She handed Alexis over carefully.

Her father received her and gently kissed her head. "Hey there, beautiful girl. Oh, I love you already. Maybe you'll love me soon, huh?" Alexis stared blankly at him. "I'll take that as a maybe. Now what do you say we go look at the presents I bought you?!" Jim bounced her on his hip a bit and carried her out of the room, with Kate smiling and following closely.

* * *

Across town, Richard Castle sat in his brand new office, in his brand new loft, pouring tears over his brand new mahogany desk.

He had given up his daughter, his child, no more than 7 months ago, because he was afraid she'd live a life like he did. Unfortunately, he didn't know that the same day he gave up all rights to her, he would be contacted by a publishing company who loved his first book and wanted two more like it. He had no idea they would give him a very large advance on his book sales. He was totally unaware that Meredith would land a spot in the new Jurassic Park sequel.

Basically, he had no clue that life would turn completely around.

He contacted every person he could, but they all said the same thing. Alexis was no longer his.

He tried adopting her, but was told that he had to be out on a waiting list with dozens of other children. He didn't have access to her adoption files, so he didn't even know where she was. He had given up his beautiful angel for nothing. He devoted all his nights to searching the internet and about a bazillion books for someway to get her back. It seemed to be none.

"Rick." He looked up to see his wife standing in the doorway to their bedroom. "Come to bed. There's nothing we can do. Nothing you can do." He stared at her glumly as she walled over to him, pulled him out of the chair. "Just come hold me." She dragged him back with her, having already mourned their loss, trying to push past it. Rick followed, still hoping against hope that there was some way, some possible chance.

* * *

 _ **Sorry this took so long. Any and all mistakes are mine.**_

 _ **Love Always, XOXOX**_


End file.
